i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
