problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
