I'm really into asian looking animals
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
