never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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