The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
