If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
