You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
