If i come over, it means nothing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
