whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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