Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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