I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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