i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
