ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
