i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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