He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
