I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
