you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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