I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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