Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
