Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
