did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
