So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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