Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
