i permit you to call me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
