He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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