I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
