He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
