weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
