I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
