I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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