i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
