i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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