I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my liver is dry heaving
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
