I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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