Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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