I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
