you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
