I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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