When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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