dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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