hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
