Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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