some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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