i think my mom watched the whole time
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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