My room smells like vodka and shame
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
