I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drunk is not a location!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
