she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
