I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
