Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
