I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
