i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
