I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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