I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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